i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
