You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
