I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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