and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
