I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
