Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
