Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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