currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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