I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
