It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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