the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
