Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
