they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
