Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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