The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
