I bet he comes in French.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
