Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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