So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
