Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
