please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Green mimosas i think yes
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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