that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
