guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I need water and some morals
Congratulations! We have a period
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
