Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
