Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
PANTIES FOUND
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