I think my vagina is haunted
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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