awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
