Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
tell me about the fingering
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
