haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
