He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize