I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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