I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
