mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
