Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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