We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
