When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
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