Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
