I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
