I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
