If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
