he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
