You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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