'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
