im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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