His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
