I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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