I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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