I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
