Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
