You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
we're so committed to being not committed
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
