i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Randomize