barbara walters just said penis...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
