How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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