He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I am naked and annoyed.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
