hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
