If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
