Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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