it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
