i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
