now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
