so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
