I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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