Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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