I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
