Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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