'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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