I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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