What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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